Friday, November 6, 2009

What Ever Happened To . . . Cookie Monster?

Cookie Monster lived on Sesame Street in New York City for many years, helping kids learn the alphabet and teaching other valuable life lessons. But as he grew older, Cookie lost his way and it would be years before he could get his life on track again.

It was the cookies that did it.

As his name would indicate, Cookie Monster loved cookies. All kinds of cookies. Chocolate chip. Oreos. Fig Newtons. And for a long time, it was just a cute little quirk that endeared him to his friends.

But in the early 90's, the whole culture of Sesame Street changed. Bert and Ernie moved to San Francisco. Big Bird flew the coop. Maria and Luis were deported. And that's when Cookie Monster hit rock bottom.

"Sesame Street not the same once Big Bird left," Cookie Monster said during an appearance on Dr. Phil. "Neighborhood really went downhill. Me get depressed, and cookie habit got worse and worse. Instead of 'me want cookie,' it was 'me need cookie.' One night, me set fur on fire while free-basing a snickerdoodle. That's when me realize me need help."

On the advice of his friend Grover, Cookie Monster checked himself into the Betty Crocker Clinic in May of 1992. But the road to recovery was long, and there were many bumps along the way.

"To beat an addiction like Cookie's, the addict has to admit that he has a problem," recalls Betty Crocker Clinic attendant Rob Davis. "And while Cookie did check himself into our program voluntarily, he wasn't really committed to his recovery. The first month, we caught him placing phone orders with his regular dealer Famous Amos, having friends sneak in packages of Keebler Fudge Stripes, even making marijuana-like doobies out of raw cookie dough. The guy had it bad."

After about six months in rehab, Cookie finally turned the corner. It helped that the Betty Crocker administration placed him on what amounted to total lock-down, banning phone calls, screening packages, and doing random blood-sugar testing to keep Cookie on track.

"For whatever reason, me made decision to take control of life," said Cookie. "Me understand that me an addict. No can have one cookie, two cookies, hundred cookies. Me must have NO cookies. Sad but true fact. Change eating habits, change life. Now me been cookie-free for seventeen years, and life is good. Me happy."

On his program, Dr. Phil asked Cookie Monster to sum up his battle with cookie addiction and his new life. The response was truly poignant.

"For long time, C was for cookie, but that not good enough for me. While cookie, cookie, cookie start with C, to an addict, sobriety start with 'me'."

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26 comments:

Miffie said...

It'll be a hard, steep, road; but I'm sure he'll be able to climb it. I can now only hope that Cookie can use his own experience to help others.

Here's to low blood sugar!

In sobriety,
Miffie

Beth said...

When I first started reading this post, I thougt, "I'll be able to sleep tonight now that I'll finally have that answer to what happened to Cookie Monster." In the end, I may lose more sleep because I feel so darn bad for Cookie Monster. Poor guy. I can see how easily one could become addicted to cookies.

Mulled Vine said...

Nooooooo.... !!!!!

C will always be for cookies, and Cookie Monster must resist the temptation to be sober.

Life is sober enough already without it consuming our wildest heroes!!

Come back Cookie!

Christine Gram said...

LOL. Seriously. Me all alone in house, but here I am busting a gut. Hilarious and brilliant.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

So what is he doing now?

"C is for celery. That good enough for me."

Moooooog35 said...

Now if we can only get help for Oscar's fetish with banana peels...

Candy's daily Dandy said...

While that post was riddled with your usual genius and hilarity, somehow, you managed to make it quite poingnant and meaningful with the last sentence.

The true measure of an artist...

CatLadyLarew said...

Happy 40th Birthday, Sesame Street! A timely post!

Me want cookies!

April said...

Wonderful, wonderful post! Funny... but also full of truth! :-)

Michelle H. said...

Bravo! This was your usual funny self but also very deep. Only three points I have to make.

Betty Crocker has a clinic? Oh, that just seems too appropriate for some reason.

Maria and Luis were deported? Didn't we all know that was going to happen eventually?

me set fur on fire while free-basing a snickerdoodle This line will stick with me forever. Ha!

Hindleyite said...

The Cookie Monster is my idol and role model. He helped me kick my McVities chocolate digestive addiction... Well, him and twenty five fags a day.

Nah, only joking - I would never advocate smoking. :)

Jenn Thorson said...

I'm so glad Cookie got the help he needed. I've always worried about him. He was among my favorite monsters.

Suldog said...

I love the way you blew off two or three other possible entries in the series (Bert & Ernie; Big Bird) as throwaways for this one! Great stuff, as usual.

Quirkyloon said...

Maria and Luis got deported?

I just KNEW that was gonna happen.

Life is so unfair, even on Sesame Street.

I think I need a cookie now.

Sarah said...

the truth about sesame street. I am not sure i was ready to hear it, but ok.

Raine said...

He is a true inspiration to all of us!

nonamedufus said...

Wow, and I thought it just wasn't easy being green. What's going on in that neighbourhood? Was today's post brought to us by the letter "H" - hilarious?

Uncle Skip, said...

Is there no end?
I quit drinking over seven years ago.
I quit smoking in June of 2008.
Now, am I gonna have to give up the Oreos?

otin said...

There are not a lot of posts that will actually make me chuckle out loud, but these what ever happened to ones really do it for me! I hope no one ever does these, they are totally you!

Carl Vine said...

I KNEW there was something wrong with that monster's eyes!

Me-Me King said...

I went to the Betty Crocker Rehab Clinic, they kicked me out after one week. My check bounced.

Janna said...

Hey, that reminds me, I've got a brand new box of Scottish shortbread cookies I've been meaning to dive into...

What?

I can stop any time I want...

jdemott said...

Great. I gave you the Superior Scribbler Award at Dog Makes Five. Pass it on.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Freebasing a snickerdoodle. LMAO, DK!

loveandbooze said...

Love it!

Jenn said...

You killed me with 'freebasing a snickerdoodle' and random blood sugar testing'. Holy crap I can not stop laughing, seriously, this is probably my favorite one yet.

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