Greatest Hits

Many of my favorite pieces have been buried in the archives, but I hope you'll take the time to check out what I consider to be my best work (such as it is).  Here are some of my favorites: 

Evel Knievel, Role Model From Hell 
Anyone who's ever ridden a bike (okay, anyone who's ever tried to jump a bike off a ramp) will relate to this story.  My childhood friend "Mike the Whip" was the kind of kid who never turned down a dare.  This is the first tale in the Mike the Whip Series. 

Lo Siento, Senor Poopie Pants
I once worked as a substitute teacher, and this is the story of my first day in the classroom.  The kindergarten classroom.  The developmentally-disabled kindergarten classroom.  The bilingual, developmentally-disabled kindergarten classroom.  Let the fun begin.

Warning: Grandma Will Get You What You Ask For
Our grandmother was the greatest.  Every Christmas, she'd get me and my brothers pretty much anything we asked for.  One year, a misunderstanding led to my brother Eric receiving the most ridiculous present a child ever got.

Dad Never Bluffs 
Remember the memory game "Simon"?  We got that for Christmas one year, and took it with us on vacation.  It made it almost halfway before Dad got sick of "that God-damn beeping."  

Zen and the Art of Seat Selection
Barry "Snot Bubble" Feldman was a second grader who had to ride the bus to school.  Experience the torment with him as he is forced to sit next to Patti "The Cootie" Ramberg and avoid the torturous Danny Paluccio.  

Blame Kindergarten 
In case you've ever read this blog and asked yourself, "What the hell is wrong with this guy?" here's the answer.  It's my kindergarten teacher's fault.  

Revenge of the Babysat
When we were young, my brothers and I were left with babysitters from time to time.  Well, one evening, after being sent to bed before sunset, we decided to get our revenge.     

Beethoven, Bugs, and the Terminator
Boredom, an evil college professor, and the History of Music in Western Civilization do not mix. 

My Fifteen Seconds of Fame 
Yes, I was once a contestant on "The Weakest Link."  Read all about the alliances, betrayals, and pop trivia challenges as I try to avoid elimination. 

Just 'Chute Me 
I'm not a very daring person, but on a vacation in Mexico I decided to take a chance and try parasailing.  Bad idea.   

Suicide Squeeze 
Another installment in the Mike the Whip Series, this time our hero is dared to fondle the hooter of a girl in our neighborhood.  Part one details the quest, part two covers the chilling aftermath. 

Saving Private Raggedy Andy 
The Knickerbocker Toy Company was the home of Raggedy Ann and Andy.  After the building was abandoned, Robbie, Mike the Whip and I ventured in to explore.  Does the word "stitches" mean anything to you?

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