What Ever Happened To . . . Ferris Bueller?

Charming Illinois native Ferris Bueller graduated from Shermer High School in 1986, boasting a 3.65 GPA despite a less-than-stellar attendance record.  After high school, Ferris married his longtime girlfriend Sloane Peterson-Bueller, and the couple attended Purdue University where Sloane majored in art history while Ferris studied political science.  Ferris's college career came to an abrupt halt in 1988, when he was expelled by University President Steven C. Beering for "an attendance pattern that could best be described as apathetic."  When informed of his expulsion, a stunned Bueller said, "I was afraid this might happen.  Apparently the computer network at Purdue is a bit tougher to hack than the one at Shermer High."

Added President Beering:  "And I'm no Ed Rooney."

Always one to land on his feet, Bueller returned to his hometown of Shermer in 1990, where he was elected to the Shermer Unified School District's Board of Trustees.  Though inexperienced, Bueller's engaging personality and charm enabled him to manipulate the other four board members, and as their first order of business, terminated the contract of SHS Principal Rooney and added ten additional student holidays to the school calendar.  While this decision made him the hero of Shermer's teenage population, parents eventually saw him for the slacker he was.  He lost his bid for re-election in 1994 to a retired economics teacher[1].

Unemployed, and with a child on the way, Bueller became desperate.  In 1995, he located his estranged friend Cameron Frye, who had become a successful pediatrician in Chicago.

"What are you doing here, Ferris?" asked Dr. Frye.

"Just came to see how you're doing, buddy.  Let me help you with that throat culture."

"I don't think so, Ferris.  If you screw up I could lose my license.  Why don't you wait in the lobby and I'll take you to lunch?"

"C'mon, Cameron, let me see that blood pressure thing --"

"It's a sphygmomanometer, Ferris."

"Whatever.  Let me see it."

"No."

"Hey, I have an even better idea," said Ferris.  "How about you hire me to help out around here permanently?"

"This is a doctor's office, not Dairy Queen.  I can't just hire you as a medical assistant."

Bueller left in a huff, saying that he'd call Cameron the next day.

Later that night, sitting at the cherrywood desk in his home office, Dr. Frye began to have second thoughts.  "He'll keep calling me, telling me to give him a job.  He'll make me feel guilty. This is ridiculous.  I'll do it.  I'll do it.  Shit."

By the next afternoon, Dr. Frye had a partner.

Though completely unqualified, "Dr." Bueller developed a knack for working with children, and before long, Dr. Bueller and Dr. Frye's medical practice was booming.  According to Jennifer Anderson, "Dr. Bueller was wonderful with my son.  I remember one morning when Brandon woke up complaining of a variety of symptoms.  I just knew he was faking, trying to get out of the math test that he was supposed to take that day.  I figured I'd call his bluff, so I picked up the phone and gave Dr. Bueller a call.  He was almost psychic, rattling off Brandon's symptoms without me telling him.  Stomach cramps.  Clammy hands.  He recommended that I keep Brandon home from school, not just that day, but for the rest of the week."

Inspired, Ferris went back to school and earned a medical degree from Indiana University in 2003.

Ferris Bueller divorced Sloane in 2004, leaving her with their children Ferris Jr. and Ashley.  He remarried in 2007, and currently resides with his wife Carrie Bradshaw, a successful New York City writer.

He is a very successful pediatrician in Manhattan, and treats over 2,500 children per year.  Kids and parents adore him.

Dr. Cameron Frye is his receptionist.



[1] You know, the one played by Ben Stein.


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