Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Subliminally Sticky

I was watching TV the other day and I happened to see a commercial denouncing the use of steroids. The image on the screen was a baseball, football, basketball and volleyball on a bench in a locker room. As the narrator went on ( about the hazards of steroid use, the balls got smaller and eventually shriveled up.
I couldn't help but wonder, "Hmmm. Is there a hidden message that they're trying to get across here ( Could shrinking balls somehow be connected to the use of steroids?"
Nah, probably not (
This got me thinking about the whole concept of subliminal ( advertising. For years, companies have slipped sexual images into photographs. Take this Coke ad, for example:

See the not-so-subtle imagery? Look closely at the reddish brown shapes. I guess it could've been an accident, but . . . nah, who am I kidding? That's silhouette nastiness right there. (

I guess the thinking here is that our subconscious minds are always on the lookout for porn. Probably not a bad assumption, since that's what our CONSCIOUS minds are usually up to, but sometimes it just goes too far. The most famous example, I suppose, would be the barely-disguised schlong ( on the cover of Disney's The Little Mermaid. Check it out.

Now, I can't imagine what point Disney's artists ( were trying to make with this, unless it's to say that gold-plated tally-whackers were a key feature of early undersea architecture. But here's what's truly frightening. Take a look at the octopus bitch's expression. I wouldn't want the willie anywhere near that level of feminine hostility. She could easily go all Lorena Bobbitt on someone and sell the thing at a bait shop.

Nightcrawlers, indeed.

And finally, the old trick of hiding the word "SEX" in an advertisement. It's shown up everywhere from cigarette ads, liquor billboards, to (once again) Disney movies. Yep, those perverted Imagineers managed to sneak "SEX" into The Lion King.

In print advertising, you'd be amazed at how often ice cubes are the culprit( Take a look at the gin ad below. Although the cubes are stacked vertically (can anything be stacked horizontally? Hmm, something to ponder), you can clearly see the S, E, and X. Pretty clever, no?

Now, I'm no psychologist, but I can't think that this makes that much of a difference. I prefer the more direct approach, anyway.

Turtle Wax, anyone?


Seriously though, you should take a minute and visit my friend Nate at His company specializes in all sorts of stuff that can help you promote your blog. You need Quirkyloon bumper stickers? He can make 'em. Out-Numbered magnets? No problem. I Shoulda Been a Stripper window clings? Done.

As an added incentive, Nate will give you ten percent off your order just by mentioning the key word "Knucklehead". He's that kinda guy.

But wait, there's more! The first three commenters who are willing to leave a mailing address (or shoot me an e-mail at will get an official "Knucklehead" refrigerator magnet absolutely free.

And that's a priceless bit of memorabilia right there, brought to you by, that's right,

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CatLadyLarew said...

I could really use one of them there refrigerator magnets... I can use it to pimp out my refrigerator! And if I ever get a clever logo like yours, I'll be sure to order up my own magnets. (Won't my family be pleased to get them as holiday and birthday gifts for the next 20 years!)

Old Geezer said...

I'd love a refrigerator magnet.

Michelle H. said...

I'm sorry. Did you say something? I started to read this post when the only thing that kept popping into my mind was "Sticky sex life magnets on a vertical schlong as Little Mermaid gets turtle waxed while taking steroids.

I suck when reading subliminal messages (er... what I meant to say is that I suck at READING subliminal messages, you pervs!)

moooooog35 said...


Apparently, ice cubes get more oral sex than I do.

I cry sometimes.

Mr. Condescending said...

Shit, what was that website again? Free magnets here I come!

Judge Fudge said...

I can't help but wonder at these family values groups who see "sex" and penises (peni?) in every cartoon. If they spent more time gettin' some, they probably wouldn't see dirty pictures in cartoons.

Raine said...

I remember when I was younger rewinding and pausing and rewinding that lion king scene over and over. I wasted a good 30 minutes of my life over that nonsense :D

CatLadyLarew said...

I was starting to worry a little bit about Michelle when I read her response. But then I realized I was spending an awfully long time trying to see the "subliminal messages" in those ads. At least Michelle and I will have fun together in hell.

Mike said..., here I come!


Where are the magnets? And why are there now horny middle aged ladies at my door?

Candice said...

Hehehe.. He said stickywife.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I don't know what the hell you were writing about, but I have an almost irresistible urge to wax my car with Turtlewax. It's all I can think about. And that website, Did you look at it before you wrote about it, because it might not be what you were thinking. Talk about subliminal sex! My mouth's already watering!

otin said...

There are tons from just Disney alone! Liquor ads used them alot, until they were banned from doing it!
Makes you wonder about who painted the shroud of turin!?

Quirkyloon said...

Hey thanks for the shoutout!

I think.

Subliminal zombie brainz, now that's some food for thought! Ha!

Samsmama said...

*Grabs a Coke*

*Pops in "The Lion King*


Theresa said...

Hmm, I don't know why, but I feel like ordering a bunch of penis shaped magnets?

Me-Me King said...

LOL @ moooooog!
LOL @ CatLadyLarew who's LOLing @ Michelle!

I remember staring at a Dewar's add in the 70's until I nearly went blind. I'm not sure if there was something there, but ......hey, who turned out the lights?

Beth said...

Like you, I prefer the direct route. So do others in my family. My sister is on the look-out for a bumper sticker that says the following: "Nice hummer. Sorry about your penis." I think the directness must run in my family.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Geez, and I thought the picture I posted yesterday, of people wearing bras over their faces, was just a public health issue. Now I see it for what it is.

Michelle H. said...

CatLadyLarew: Sorry, for some strange reason, Satan won't take me.

nonamedufus said...

Boy, talk about subliminal advertising, you pimp you! ;)

Suldog said...

Is there such a thing as liminal?

[*goes to on-line dictionary*]


Hey, you want to see truly blatant sex that was probably supposed to be subliminal? Check out the cover of Uriah Heep's "Demons And Wizards". Juicy!

Aria said...

This is the real reason Disney is so popular

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can watch the sexiest virtual strippers on my desktop.

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