Friday, June 22, 2012

We've Lost a Welterweight Boxer

As I mentioned a couple months ago, I've been on sort of a "blogging hiatus" so I can focus on getting my fat ass into something that resembles "shape." Over the last six months, I've been eating right and going to the gym regularly, and since I've just about reached my fitness goals, I figured I'd go ahead and tell the story.

First, I might as well show you a couple "before" pictures.   I of course realize that no matter my heft, I'm quite a handsome stud of a gentleman. But as you can see from the photos, I was packing on quite a few extra pounds. Not to put too fine a point on it, but when we went to Sea World, a couple of the elephant seals offered to buy me drinks.

Chowder in a bread bowl.  NOT approved.
These are from the last few years, not incredibly recent, but you get the idea. Trust me, I was at least this big back six months ago, when I came to the startling realization that something had to be done.  I had reached a point where I'd just about accepted the fact that I was a fat guy, and I figured what the hell, I'm in my 40's, might as well enjoy life, enjoy food, and be a happy, jolly, unhealthy overweight slug.  So what if  I had to use a breathing machine at night so I didn't snore and choke myself to death in my sleep, that was a mere inconvenience.  We all have our challenges, right?

Sometime around Christmas, I decided to get on the bathroom scale and assess the damage. While the number I was looking at would've definitely gotten me into the finals at the Lumber Liquidators U.S. Open on the Professional Bowlers' Tour, it was not good news when it came to my weight.

So I decided to take action.

Homer Simpson's stunt double?
The first step was to create a diet plan that I could live with, which was going to be a challenge. I'm a big fan of burgers, fries, pizza, nachos, all sorts of stuff that would make the South Beach Diet guy burst into barbecue-scented flames. I knew, obviously, that I'd have to give up all the good stuff, and since I had no desire to simply starve myself, I had to find healthy cuisine that I would sort of enjoy.  Fortunately I don't need a lot of variety in my diet, so once I came up with a menu that seemed workable, the dieting turned out to be fairly easy. Breakfast consists mostly of steel-cut oatmeal with a touch of cinnamon and Sweet and Low. For lunch I'll have a salad, or tuna and cottage cheese, or maybe steak and eggs from a nearby restaurant (Taco Mi Hacienda, to be specific). Occasionally I'll enjoy a six-inch Subway Club on wheat, no cheese, no oil or vinegar. And of course my dinner options are chicken, fish, steak, veggies, an omelette with sausage, or sometimes a brown rice and white meat chicken bowl from Flame Broiler. Snacks? Special K bars, fresh vegetables, and lots of water.

I mix in one "cheat day" per month just for sanity's sake. Let me tell you, there is no food quite so tasty as Cheat Day Pizza.

But as the fitness gurus will tell you, there's more to losing weight than simply eating lawn shavings and gristle. To supplement my new-found healthy eating habits, I joined our local 24-Hour Fitness club. My wife Theresa decided to get on the "get-in-shape bandwagon" with me, so now instead of watching TV and scarfing down Cheetos at night, we go to the gym. I won't bore you with the entire program, but essentially we work out six times a week, for about 90 minutes per visit. We do 30 minutes on the treadmill every night, 30 minutes of weight training four nights a week, 15 minutes in the sauna, and occasionally 15 more minutes on the elliptical machine or stationary bike. At first this routine was exhausting, but as time went on it got easier. Of course, as the weight came off and my muscles grew stronger, the exercising wasn't as difficult. And once you see results, your motivation just sort of snowballs.

Also, I can't say enough about 24-Hour Fitness.  The club in our neighborhood is relatively new, with state-of-the-art exercise equipment, a basketball court, swimming pool, spa, sauna, and a nice selection of fitness classes (Theresa loves Zumba). The staff is terrific, especially those working at the check-in area. They always welcome members with a smile, often remembering the names of the "regulars." Our favorite is a girl named Alicia, who treats me and Theresa like we're her favorite members in the entire club. While we'd like to actually believe that, I'm sure she treats everyone that way. In short, if you're looking to join a gym, I give 24-Hour Fitness an enthusiastic "two biceps up."

And now, the results.

From January 4, 2012 to today (June 22), Theresa and I have lost a combined total of 160 pounds which, to provide some perspective, is fifteen pounds or so more than Sugar Ray Leonard weighed when he fought Roberto Duran for the World Welterweight Championship.

Aside from looking and feeling a hell of a lot better, I no longer need the sleep apnea machine. My blood pressure has returned to normal, and I actually enjoy shopping for clothes at stores that aren't managed by a guy named Omar the Tent-Maker. In short, life is good. Here's a look at what dieting and exercise have done for both of us.




On a sad note, the elephant seals are no longer interested.


Afterthought: If you're like I was, struggling with your weight and your health, I would like to encourage you to take the leap of faith and do something about it.  As I said, this whole process (as of this morning, I've lost exactly 80 pounds) took less than six months.  Yes, it takes commitment and focus (basically, aside from work, getting in shape was pretty much our entire life), but think about it this way.  If you start right now, by Christmas you'll feel like a brand new person.  Six months, people.  Looking back, my only regret is that I didn't do this years ago.


Good luck, and if you decide to go for it, I'd love to hear about your progress.  Feel free to e-mail me at knuckleheadhumor@gmail.com.

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18 comments:

Andy said...

Looking fantastic, Chris. Nice work!

Mike said...

As a lover of food who has been on and off dieting forever, I salute you! Good job. I hope you can keep it off!

ReformingGeek said...

Congrats, Chris! Keep it up!

So. Cal. Gal said...

Holy cow! Oops, sorry. Lookin' good!

Anonymous said...

Elephants mourn all the seas and oceans over!

You look fantastic Dude! And an awe to the some for accomplishing this fitness goal.

Way to be!

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

In-N-Out misses you

Suldog said...

Damn, Chris, you look great! You've gone from being a jolly fat man to looking like someone I, for one, would not want to encounter in a bar fight. You look TOUGH, man. I mean that as a serious compliment. Congratulations!

Heff said...

Damn, dude. AWESOME JOB !!

Homemaker Man said...

You look frigging great, man. Congrats.

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

What an incredible success story, especially the exercise. Congrats to Theresa, too! I feel inspired by your success, but at the same time, I'm depressed because i injured my knees doing cardio last year and had to cease working out. Gained all my weight loss back. I feel defeated because I find I don't lose weight much when I only count calories. I need the exercise too. Oh, and I ate 6 donuts today. I need an intervention. Chris, help me!

notactuallygod said...

Good job!

My wife and I have just started on a similar path.

Julie Dunlap said...

I, too, have been on a blogging hiatus of sorts to focus on a couple of other project but have still managed to run around the block exactly seven times in the past four months.

Congratulations on your newfound health!

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Candy's daily Dandy said...

wow dude! you look fantastic! keep up the great work!!!

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Thank you for taking the time to write on this topic.

Mary Long said...

I started the same process back on 1/7. I did great for 6 months then really started slacking in the gym department.... I am trying to get my mind back into it and seeing your pictures is a help. Great job on your 80 pounds and your wife's as well! Thanks for the post :0)

Unknown said...

Wow! Look at you, you look so hunky now. Two thumps up! Keep it up. I would like you to review on my own products too, kindly check this one out, Ozeri Scale.

Sweet Regards,

Dorothy Parker

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